


Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 24 A Prime Problem

by specspectacle, Twilight-Owls (LadyTorix)



Series: Afterspark Podcast: Transformers G1 [25]
Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Don’t copy to another site, Embedded Video, Episode Commentary, Episode Review, Links, Podcast, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes, Swearing, Video, YouTube, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-01-31 03:30:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21439516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/specspectacle/pseuds/specspectacle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyTorix/pseuds/Twilight-Owls
Summary: Megatron decides to build himself an Optimus Prime more to his liking.
Series: Afterspark Podcast: Transformers G1 [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1220114
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 24 A Prime Problem

**Author's Note:**

> If you need an audio only version of the podcast please check out the links at the end of the transcript!

[Stinger]

O: --Or Solus took a rib from Solus and genetically engineered his wife.

S: [laughing in the background]

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast! An episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 24, “A Prime Problem.” Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Um-hmm. And today we open with the Decepticons next to a freshly created glowing ravine.

O: They had apparently detected some sort of rare energy on their sensors.

S: Starscream, is completely ready to dive in headfirst, but Megatron stops him, as he cites that the energy could be unstable.

O: Once bitten, twice shy, eh, Megs?

S: [sighs] Megatron's decided he cares about his subordinates today.

O: [laughs]

S: The Decepticons apparently have a- kind of an equivalent of Roller, called an Autoscout.

O: This is actually kind of fascinating to me. Not only because the name, ‘Autoscout,’ sounds like it should be an Autobot thing, but also because this is another cassette that Soundwave sends out, that's weirdly colored like Rumble for some inexplicable reason. But I like that the normal cassettes like Ravage, um, Rumble, Frenzy. etc, they're all considered valuable enough they aren't used for shit like this.

S: The scout descends into the ravine, revealing that the energy is coming from some very large crystals, while Megatron, Soundwave, and Starscream, you know, exposition things.

O: Yeah, I know, it actually was a reasonably good usage of you know, like, the audio and the visual storytelling. Uh, these things are Korlonium- okay, so, I looked it up this thing has an ‘R’ in it but I swear to god they sound- it sounds like they're saying ‘Colonium’ crystals…

S: It could just be an accent thing.

O: So, these things are Korlonium crystals, apparently?

S: Megatron says that they're deadly, and then the scout blows up upon contact with it.

O: You know, right on time. Starscream suggests luring the Autobots into the crystals to destroy them, but Megatron says that Optimus would never be so reckless.

S: Well, I mean the  _ real  _ and I'm gonna emphasize REAL here-

O: [laughs]

S: -real Optimus wouldn't.

O: And then Megatron had a terrible, awful idea.

S: Megatron decides to wait in his new, temporary base until the Autobots show up.

O: It's a giant rock. I know it's supposed to look like a mountain, but guys it's a ROCK.

S: And then we see the Autobots arrived with Spike in tow.

O: Oh good, I'm glad we brought the human to this weird energy source that's probably giving him cancer as we speak.

S: Do the robots even know what cancer is?

O: Uhh, good question! [laughs]

S: Then again, who knows if any of this is any more hazardous than the Ark on a normal day, let alone sitting in Bumblebee who may or may not be radiating who knows what.

O: Or- or being anywhere near- near Wheeljack?

S: Yeah.

O: And thus, Cliffjumper attempts to do what he does best, jumping off a cliff and into the crystals.

S: Well, I mean he has to live up to the prophecy that is his name, because it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

O: Indeed.

S: But Optimus advises caution, before Starscream shows up with several other Cons. Starscream here is super creative with his insults to Optimus. Calling him Floptimus.

O: Why does that sound like a dick joke? Better yet, why are you using a dick joke on Optimus? Your boss is the one that turns into a phallic object.

S: He's jealous of their, um, relationship.

O: Obviously. A fight breaks out, with Optimus almost immediately taking out the three Seekers.

S: He just dismisses them as opponents, while loudly declaring how bored he is to only be fighting three Decepticons. And then Megatron has Soundwave reject Laserbeak to take out Optimus.

O: May one bird do what three Jets could not.

S: Upon seeing Laserbeak Optimus calls him a ‘tinfoil turkey’.

O: The bastard, be nice to my birb!

S: But Laserbeak shoots Optimus down a convenient adjacent ravine, free of electronic frying crystals.

O: Megatron then orders Laserbeak to take holographic scans of Optimus’s body, from  _ every  _ angle. Megatron holds a  **perfect ** replica of Optimus Prime for  _ reasons. _

S: And... Megatron also wants Optimus alive.

O: Oh lord, he wants a harem.

S: Maybe?

B: [laughs]

S: While Laserbeak is scanning Optimus, Megatron calls him um, photogenic.

O: Optimus is knocked out, ass up, and SOMEHOW that's photogenic!?! Megs, buddy, NOOO!!!

S: [sighs] A mere few button pushes later and Megatron now has an exact copy of Optimus Prime.

O: It fools Soundwave. I have absolutely no idea why, it's not like Soundwave wasn't watching the monitors with the real Optimus on them at the same time is Megs. He saw Laserbeak scan him!

S: To make this even sillier, Soundwave’s basically psychic. Actually, I'm kind of wondering if he's performing surprise for Megatron's benefit.

O: Why though!?! He shouldn't be surprised here! [dissolves into laughter]

S: Yes, but maybe it makes Megatron feel better to have his ego stroked?

O: I would believe that.

S: It's just to guess. Megatron proudly proclaims that it's a clone.

O: We gonna talk about how Megs just uh, had this all ready to go or…?

S: I don’t know, it's the plot of the week.

O: Plot of the week, he’s got plans for it, I mean whatever...

S: He's just making use of stuff he already had.

O: [snorts]

S: He then puts on a silly helmet, that is of course purple, and now he can control everything the clone says or does.

O: Clone Optimus heads out to meet up with the Autobots. The Cons retreat, and the Autobots head back to base.

S: Meanwhile, the real Optimus, who has apparently been left unsupervised, wakes up and climbs out of the ravine he was trapped in. And at the Ark, Megatron apparently doesn't know anyone's name as he has the clone calling Ironhide, ‘Bumblebee’.

O: I really wish they got a bit farther with this gag. Either having Megatron trying to impersonate Optimus Prime's voice or have Optimus try to have more of Megatron’s speech pattern. Like, now I'm just wondering has anybody ever asked the two VA’s to do that? Because I would pay good money to see that! [laughs]

S: I'm kind of wondering how Megatron- how they don't have any goddamn information on any of like, their- the opposing faction because he should know.

O: He clearly know who Bumblebee is, in earlier episode. That's the part that makes this make less sense.

S: Yeah. So, I mean, you think, you've been fighting a war against them, they're- like, their roster doesn't really change.

O: Yeah.

S: You’d think you'd know who the hell they are, if only so that you can properly you know, combat them.

O: Yeah, pretty much.

S: And yeah, Megatron also has absolutely no idea how to operate Teletraan I, despite the fact that he's had operatives going in and operating it and getting shit out of it, for how long?

O: At least a year. The Autobots express worry about their leader but the clone uses the fall as an excuse for his ‘faulty memory’.

S: This seems like it would be a good reason for you know, Ratchet to open him up but apparently he's identical inside and out, through and through.

O: YUP, we’ll get to that! [laughs]

S: Yeah, and then the real Optimus shows up and the clone orders the others to shoot him. But Ironhide stops them. Wanting to verify which one is the real one.

O: Which obviously the second one's the right one, because he doesn't even notice the other Optimus at first. He's too busy expressing how happy he is that everyone made it back safe.

S: [sighs] The real Optimus. Bumblebee has Teletraan I scan the two Optimi, but they come up as exactly the same.

O: [deadpan] Oh gee, if only sparks existed. [returns to speaking normally] I mean I’d assume that one of them wouldn't have one, right?

S: Well if it -if it did it would have weird implications for you know, their reproduction.

O: Uh, it has weird implications period, considering sparks are canonically a thing here, retroactively, by way of Beast Wars.

S: Yeah.

O: So, you know, that's the thing. Apparently, we're going to do a series of tests to see which is the real Optimus out of these two. Uh, the first of which is laser rifle skills.

S: Really guys, all you need to do is see which one knows how to use the damn computer.

O: [snorts] It's so true. To make this dumber though, I'm not even sure which one is which in these scenes.

S: I'm not sure anyone is.

O: [laughs] The animators didn't know either! The writers didn't know either! I believe it.

S: And instead of doing something sensible, like asking them questions, they decide to make the two Primes do a truck race next. Oh, GODDDD-

O: Shockingly, these tests are inconclusive!

S: [sighs] But the Autobots have more important things to worry about. The Korlonium crystals are about to explode and they've got to stop it!

O: This is apparently all going according to Megatron's plan, as the Cons are messing with Teletraan’s readings to lure the Autobots back to the crevice. Wait, one moment, he just said he didn't know how to use Teletraan but they know how to fool the fucking scanners?

S: I guess they can manipulate what Teletraan’s sensors are getting? I don't know.

O: I suppose that's more likely.

S: Cuz I mean, Soundwave could probably do that.

O: Okay, I believe Soundwave could do that.

S: Megatron, Megatron, no. Soundwave, probably yeah. Maybe Starscream could do something? But apparently, he didn't know what the fuck they were so… I don't know. Megatron is saying this while wearing the control helmet so does that mean the clone is saying all this shit out loud, as well?

O: Please, yes lord, please! [laughs]

S: I mean that would blow the cover like, really fast but apparent- unless everyone was super dumb, which I mean they are...

O: I MEAN, they do not have a good track record in this episode, let's be honest.

S: Sadly that would not appear to be the case, uh, with regard to talking out loud via clone. Uh, when we get back to the Autobots, they are just about getting ready to roll out. But Ironhide tells the two Primes that until they're sorted out, he's the one giving orders around here.

O: So, still Peter Cullen? [laughs]

S: [laughing] Yes!

O: Peter Cullen does one other voice in this series regularly, it's Ironhide. I do find this funny. When the Autobots arrive they are attacked by the Decepticons.

S: Megatron plans to have the clone order the Autobots into the deadly, deadly crystals, and of course the- in order to gain their trust he'll have to destroy one of the Cons.

O: Starscream doesn't just walk into this, he- he falls flat on his face into it.

S: [sighs] He swan dives.

O: [laughs]

S: Starscream is like, “I, Starscream!?! The pride of the Cybertronian war academy!?!”

O: “This aft? This aft, right here? You want to offline this aft?”

S: And Starscream, you know, runs away, and flies out of the hideout, like a coward.

O: [snorts] I don't know if I really blame him, in all fairness.

S: True, I mean, considering how much he and Megatron fight, and how- how many times Megatron's probably told him he's gonna kill him and everything.

O: And vice versa. Megatron has Soundwave send Laserbeak after him.

S: While all this is going on, Spike and Windcharger find the entrance to the hidden base.

O: For being half Starscream's height, Laserbeak actually makes pretty quick work of him and just hauls him back into the base.

S: I am pretty sure Laserbeak is significantly smaller than Starscream, unless he was like mass shifted up here.

O: I- I don't know, I feel like when we saw it, it looked about half- like he was about half as tall or something but-

S: I don’t know, it’s- it’s weird.

O: -hell if I know.

S: Once Starscream’s dumped back in front of Megatron, Megatron says he intends to have the Optimus clone kill Starscream's clone, not Starscream himself. This is important information that was left out.

O: And this is what you get for dicking around with people Megs, a squishy infestation.

S: Of course, once Starscream's been ah, cloned he sees something he finally loves more than himself, his clone!

O: Starscream gets his own dumb helmet to control his clone too!

S: Same hat!

O: [laughs] Spike and Windcharger attempt to get out after hearing Megatron's plan, but they are chased by Laserbeak.

S: Spike is, you know, captured accordingly and ah, Windcharger falls to his apparent doom.

O: Into the crystals, like, I feel that’s relevant.

S: Yeah.

O: Uh, Soundwave is now babysitting the squishy.

S: Spike calls Megatron a, ‘Mega-rat’.

O: Just once- just once I'd like to hear these idiots say an actual zinger.

S: Back outside, the two clones face off one-on-one, mano a mano. With Megatron congratulating himself on being a  _ brilliant _ playwright for choreographing all this nonsense.

O: All I can think is just see- see, you let him write shitty plays, this war wouldn’t have happened!

S: Oh god, hes’ doing- he’s pulling a Loki from-

O: [cracking up] OH MY GOD, that's the fic we want and deserve! Is Megatron wins, and all he does is put on shi- is put on shitty plays! Headcanon accepted.

S: Self-aggrandizing plays and poetry.

O: Mm-hmm! And then Optimus kills Starscream in cold blood, in front of a bunch of witnesses.

S: Oh boy, are they gonna feel super silly when Starscream shows up in five minutes.

O: Five minutes I think you mean immediately!?!

S: As the wind is blowing the dust of Starscream's clone away, um, Starscream still standing there, in the shot, with the two other seekers.

O: [laughs] So animation error, but in all seriousness, Megatron and Starscream actually work really, really well together here. Proving they can do it if they try!

S: Um-hmm.

O: The Autobots are dumb, dumb, dumb, mothafuckers, reaching the conclusion that this has to be the  _ real  _ Prime, because he killed Megatron's second-in-command.

S: Would the real Optimus kill Starscream in cold blood? I think we've established that, no he the fuck wouldn't.

O: He can't even kill Megatron in cold blood most continuities.

S: Yeah.

O: Clone Optimus orders the bots into the crevice and the real one tries to stop them, but no one listens to him.

S: You're all so DUMB! So, so DUMB!!! Why didn't you ask about prior experiences that you would have had with him!?!

O: Because that would make too much sense! [laughs]

S: [sighs] Why? So much sighing...

O: [laughs]

S: Windcharger proceeds to drive up out of the crevice and is like, “Hey guys. Don't fucking go in there!”

O: [laughs] I wanna point out that he survived because he apparently transformed into his alt mode before hitting the ground. I don't know why that helped, because clearly that doesn't seem to help- because the Scout still blew up and it had wheels, but whatever.

S: It might not have had rubber tires, that’s the thing.

O: Hmm, okay.

S: Cuz, I think it's specified that the rubber tires somehow insulated him?

O: You know, this is- this is like, on par with them defeating uh, what's-his-face’s lightning in that other episode by being in car mode, but sure!

S: Yeah, the clone attempts to get everyone ah, into the crevice again, but finally fucks up enough that the other Bots catch on. And it's when he calls Spike, ‘unimportant’.

O: Megatron was so close, he just lost his patience, man.

S: The Autobots finally turn on the clone sending him into the crystal crevice.

O: The Decepticons are blasting off again, and as they make their escape they just chuck Spike out a window.

S: Powerglide proceeds to show up, um, and showboats that rescue. Spike should really be dead at this point.

O: Critical velocity and all that, because while Powerglide was showing off they got really close to the ground with that catch.

S: Yeah, and even if Spike er, Skydive-Sky-

O: Skydive? [laughs]

S: Wrong- I mean right season, wrong flying Autobot.

O: [continues laughing]

S: Ah, even if Powerglide managed to like, match velocities with him- yeah, but still- he'd still splat-

O: Yup.

S: -unfortunately for him. Um, back on the ground, Spike asks Optimus if it's really him and uh, then Optimus offers a rather silly response, but it’s- you know, it's cute.

O: “Yes Spike. This time I am definitely me... or I. Myself. Oh, whoever I am.”

B: [laugh]

O: And that's it for today's episode, join us next time for, “Atlantis, Arise!” Uhh, so did you guys ever want to see the lost city of Atlantis with giant robots, jets underwater, and um... Washington DC?

S: Megatron takes over um-

O: A lot of things.

S: -Lincoln’s chair.

O: [laughs]

S: Yeah.

O: Megatron finds the  _ perfect  _ chair.

S: Yep, too bad you can't take it home.

O: [snorts]

S: Okay, we have two- two fanfic recommendations for today. Would you like to talk about them or would you like me to?

O: Yep, I can do it. Uh, so, uh basically, I did both of these because I will use any excuse to talk about Shattered Glass. (I apologize for nothing!) So, our two fics for today, uh, the first one is, “Mathematical Manipulation” by Merfilly. The continuity is Shattered Glass, it’s G, it’s Gen there are no pairings. Characters are: Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave, Shockwave, Frenzy, Optimus Prime, Rodimus Prime, and Thundercracker. That is all of the Shattered Glass versions and in summary, “Megatron doesn't see the future, he just models it on probability.” The character or a rec this is based on is, ‘evil Optimus,’ and it's a one-shot. Also, this makes more sense when you realize that Shattered Glass Megs is a math professor.

S: Which is indeed a fun thing.

O: Which I love immensely! And our second one is, “Someone You Might Have Been,” by Astolot. It's G1/Shattered Glass, it's rated T, it's definitely slash, uh, for Megatron/Optimus and our characters are: Shattered Glass Megatron, regular Megatron and Optimus. The- in summary, “I didn't love him because he wasn't you.” And the character theme this is based on is again, ‘evil Optimus,’ but also Megatron and Optimus slash. It is a one shot. It's also one of the only Astolot fics I can recommend, so I was like, we're gonna put that here! [Because we’ve been trying to keep all the fic recs at T and below for the most part. ~Owls] And that's it for our fics today.

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as a Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @AftersparkPod (all one word), and various other locations by searching for, “Afterspark Podcast,” such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and Youtube, just to name a few. Until next time, I'm Specs.

O: And I'm Owls.

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music]

**Author's Note:**

> **Fanfic Recommendations:**
> 
>   * [Mathematical Manipulation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/413128) by [Merfilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly)
>   * [Someone You Might Have Been](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15703923) by [astolat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astolat/pseuds/astolat)
> 
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> 
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>   * [iTunes](https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/afterspark-podcast/id1452120342)
>   * [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/Afterspark-Podcast)
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> 
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